Unspoken
by The Maiden in Pink
Summary: When Pharoah Atem finally departs for the afterlife, Anzu Mazaki finds that there may be a lighthouse shrouded within the fog of her grief.


Hello, all. In my time on this site, I have not published many stories, and deleted one. But I continue to read here and I've always wanted to write more for Yu-Gi-Oh- it's just that I've never really had time. Well, I finally managed to find some, and here's the product. I hope I've improved since last time, and I hope you enjoy!

**ooOoo**

Anzu Mazaki knew that it was kind of the Ishtars to show the visitors to Egypt around.

But it had only been hours.

She could already see that the rest of them were immersed in the sights of the town, so exotic it was to them, like the first taste of some aromatic spice.

Jou and Honda, they had even cried, same as she, shameless in front of everyone in their grief. But now they smiled, laughed with Otogi and Ryou, chatted with Malik and Isis. Yuugi did, too.

He had walked into eternity only hours earlier.

Anzu bit her lip. Hard. She was trying, of course she was, to imitate them, and not clam up and peer out from wistful eyes at the scenery. She was not without gratitude that she was lucky enough to even be here, in Egypt, or that she had such wonderful friends, who, unlike her, did not have balls of mush for hearts and could go back to being happy and normal after a loss, and not drag her further down into despair with them.

After all, it _was _a loss, wasn't it? Amongst all of the goodwill notions, besides the fact that Atem was finally where he belonged, nothing would change the other fact that a whole group of young people _here, _in the _now_, had just lost one of the best friends they could ever hope to have.

That at least helped her to partially quiet the nagging voice that told her she was being selfish.

But, she realized, she hadn't sat alone with these feelings yet, the ones that swirled slowly beneath the surface like dark, gloomy waters, threatening at random moments to swell and leak out everywhere, and wash her composure away.

Carefully, she slipped away from her group. Ducking behind things, then walking, then running. She ran blindly, stopping when she reached palm trees and greenery, and no people.

_Atem_.

She became suddenly aware that her cheeks were streaked with tears. The knowledge brought on a sob, and just like that, she was crying.

A small part of her felt ashamed, silly, mortified. What would the others say, or think, of her blubbering?

"_They're boys," _she thought bitterly, _"How would they understand, anyway? How would they know how it feels to be me..?" _

The thought felt childish to what remained of her sense of reason, but her mind was already away from that, as the image of Atem came up, perfect and clear.

The shock of hair, the jaw, the violet eyes. That quiet energy and focus that seemed to hover around him. His intensity.

Never had she known a man like that, and she wondered if she ever would again. Maybe it would be better that way, so that his memory would remain one in a million, sacred and separate.

Someone like that deserved to live where they belonged. To find their answers. And Atem had, so why was she crying?

"I _am _happy for him," she said aloud, shakily. And it was true. Of course, part of her was so glad that all of their labors, the blood, sweat and tears that each of them had put in during the roller coaster-adventure ride of the last few years, had finally paid off in the fullest. But _this_ part of her..

"I am happy for him. I am happy.." she spoke the words aloud, trying to make the transparent statement more solid. More truthful.

The sea monster that had hidden within the dark water finally reared its ugly the words suddenly exploded out of her "..But he's gone forever, and I never told him.. I _wish_ he could come back!"

So there it was. She didn't care, she didn't care about anything, she just wanted him back. "Dammit..!" she exclaimed, and she slumped onto her side, sobbing with renewed vigor.

_Why _hadn't she had the courage when he was still around? Why did it have to be so difficult?

After all, throughout all that she and her friends had done, all of the risks she had taken, all of the times she had _been there _for them_,_ been the _sensible one_, all that she had given of herself, she had never asked for anything in return.

All she had ever looked forward to, not prize money or priceless artifacts or power or glory, was him. Atem.

And, as long as she were being honest with herself, maybe something a little more. Just a bit more. A compliment, maybe. A compliment that would reach her very heart in its sincerity. Or having him take her hand, and hold it.

Or maybe..

She closed her eyes as, even at this moment, her cheeks reddened. How _would_ it have felt if his lips had touched hers? Was he an accomplished kisser, or an awkward one..? Her heart wrenched as she realized that she would never find out.

"Oh, Atem.." she sighed. If _only_ she had done ir, and told him that she was in love with him, maybe then he would have kissed her.

Suddenly, she heard a crunching of sand. Instantly, the sound brought her out of her thought-world and back into this one- back to harsh reality. Looking around wildly like a startled jackrabbit, her stomach promptly dropped into her knees.

"_Oh, **no**- anything but this-" _

"Mazaki. I might have known," said the one person who could make Anzu want to slice off an ear rather than see him right now- while she was laying in sandy, tearful, red-faced misery.

Quakes of humiliation rattled anything she tried to say, so she remained motionless, staring pathetically up at him.

The look on Seto Kaiba's face was hard to decipher. The clear Egyptian sun streaked his cocoa brown hair with gleaming shines, and put an intense shimmer into his eyes which were blue like hers.

"I thought I heard someone crying," he said, "At first I wondered if this sun was getting to me-"

"Kaiba." Suddenly, words came to Anzu. It occurred to her somewhere in her mind that, after all of the times when she and her friends had encountered Seto Kaiba, and it had secretly seemed to her that he never stayed long enough, now, she just wanted to be alone.

She could see that he was blinking in genuine surprise at her interruption, so she hurried to finish, "I..I-Just go away. Please."

He came closer to her, and for a moment, she was taken aback. He was focused on her with some kind of look that was not ordinary for Seto Kaiba, and, at the same time, he looked strikingly handsome.

No matter how she felt about him otherwise, Anzu had never disagreed with the fact that he was attractive, but somehow, at this precise pinpoint in time, he was so much so that Anzu's mind reverberated with his image.

She felt weak and fragile, and for a moment, a split second, she wished, deep down, that he would walk over and hold her. But a moment later, it shifted to Atem's arms around her instead, and her stomach clenched as she remembered why she was here.

"I said go! I meant it!" she shrieked, slapping at the fresh tears that were beginning to roll down her cheeks.

Anzu fully expected the anger that flashed on his face when she addressed him that way, but it was gone quickly, replaced by what almost looked like confusion. If Anzu hadn't been trying to keep from sobbing, she would have been astonished to see him confused. First he released his arms, seemingly about to say something. Then, slowly, he turned and left silently.

As he did this, Anzu also missed something even more startling than confusion in his eyes. Flickers of concern, real, deep concern, the same look previously reserved for _only_ his little brother Mokuba.

Then she would have also seen the reluctance with which he retreated. Reluctant to, as she wished, leave her alone, in the state she was in. It was after all, just like Anzu Mazaki to be pushy.

It was not like her to look so defeated. Seto knew that for sure.

The well-hidden respect he had come to host for the fellow brunette, blue-eyed girl only existed in the first place because he had seen her confidence, her perserverance. Her unrelenting determination to do what was right, and to stand up for those she cared about.

That was why, as days passed, the image of Anzu Mazaki laying hidden, crying harder than he had ever seen her cry, alone, stayed with him.

It _was_ just like the girl, however, to scream at him like that, to leave her alone. She was relentlessly stubborn, and he hadn't known how to argue, so unnerved was he by her state.

"_Because it just didn't feel right,"_ he thought as he twirled his pen between his fingers at his desk, gazing without seeing at the documents before him, _"She's supposed to have that ferocious spark in her eyes, not defeat.."_

And that was bothering him. It was bothering him that she was pulling him out of his focus on his work. He had returned to Domino before "the crew" had, and he was dreading when he would have to see her daily, in school.

He was a very busy person- too busy to have to deal with these kinds of trivial problems, he told himself again and again. But he simply could not shake his thoughts of her, that Anzu Mazaki.

And then she returned.

There she was, in the familiar crisp pink blazer and blue bow around her neck, sitting at her desk. Much as he hated it, Seto was afraid to look at her face.

When he finally did, he received an unpleasant jolt. She appeared to be acting mostly as she usually did, though she was quieter. _"But her eyes..!"_ his mind exclaimed.

They looked dull and washed over, a window in need of polishing. They didn't smile when she did.

He did not want to speak to her, or her friends, too afraid that his usual demeanor was too deeply cracked at the moment by his concerns and something he did not feel like showing would leak through.

But he could not help but wonder how much longer he could go without intervening in some way. The pharoah, after all, was gone. Never coming back. He had seen the beginning of her issues when he had walked away.

Now, he realized, it was just like that arrogant little Atem, as they had called him, to leave he, Seto Kaiba, with the burden of this ruined Anzu on his hands.

But, when he really thought about it, did he really want Atem to return, if he could? In his deepest heart of hearts, the one whose existence he sometimes forgot, where his weakest emotions lived, also lived Anzu Mazaki.

He didn't know when he had come to secretly feel that way for her, but he did. When he thought of Atem holding her, he felt as if he had a splitting tension headache.

But that would never happen.

And that was precisely what was keeping Anzu's eyes from shining as they were supposed to.

But she would get over it. Over him. Eventually.

Seto could only hope that it was sooner rather than later, because he did not know how much longer he could stand the aches in his heart at the thought of her suffering.

Then, an amount of time since they had returned from Egypt that Seto could not recall exactly, he was being driven home, when he spotted her.

Walking somewhere from dance class, no doubt, as she had her bag over her shoulders and jean shorts over her lavender leotard and tights.

Without pause to think about it, he told the driver to wait a moment.

Anzu looked and saw the window of the limousine rolling down. "Kaiba?"

"Mazaki. Get in."

To Anzu's immense surprise, the door beside him opened. "Wh-why?"

"You heard me."

With a tight swallow, Anzu climbed in, shutting the door gingerly behind her, and instantly taking in the sleek layout and plush seats.

"What's with the sudden charity?" she mustered up, sounding more confident than she felt sitting next to Seto Kaiba in his limousine.

"I just felt like it. You should be grateful."

Before she had a chance to think of a retort, the driver asked her where she wanted to go. Once she had told him- and been startled by a little window clicking shut and leaving them in privacy- she looked back at Seto gazing out the window, her throat dry.

She could not help but think of that day in Egypt, the last time she had been alone with him. In particular, her dance-sore muscles reminded her of the moment where she had wished that he would walk over and hold her.

That wish seemed so odd now, when examined back here in familiar Domino, where Seto Kaiba was an unemotional, immensely busy young man who disliked her friends and cared only about his brother.

"Mazaki. Awfully quiet, aren't you?" Seto spoke icily, suddenly breaking the awkward- at least on Anzu's part- silence.

"I was expecting to have my ears assaulted with pointless chatter, but apparently not.. I'm almost disappointed."

Moving her eyes to see him, she only became more astonished when she saw that though he still faced his window, his eyes flitted away from her, and there was a look in them that almost made Anzu think that he was only half-joking.

Again, she was reminded of the past, when the whole crew was out on their adventures, and she would chance a glance or two at him, wondering vaguely what he thought of her.

She had even caught _his _eye on _her_ once. Just once, and he had turned away, quickly but not too quickly. She realized now that she had never really given that too much thought, because there had been Atem.

Now Atem was no longer around, and at first, Anzu had really felt it. It had been all she could to keep from collapsing into tears on her first day back at school from not hearing his steady voice once, all day.

But, his absence seemed more acceptable now. As long as she didn't dwell on it for too long. Quietly, she sighed. "I have a lot on my mind, Kaiba..Is it so hard to show a little consideration, especially seeing as how it was you who dragged me in here in the first place?"

Heart pounding, she waited for his response. "Well," he said sarcastically, "Once one becomes used to something, they notice when it's absent. I just find it strange that your chatterbox tendencies seem to have really lessened."

His tone quieted slightly. "Although, I guess the cause should be obvious to me."

Anzu's hands clamped tightly. "Oh no, come to think of it, it _would_ be difficult for you to imagine being upset over one of your best friends leaving you forever, because you have such trouble really caring about anyone!"

"Calm down Mazaki. After what I've witnessed, I don't doubt that the pharaoh's leaving was a staggering blow to you." he said stiffly.

Anzu felt the surge of hot anger fading as quickly as it had come, replaced with more surprise at his words. So he had thought of that day in Egypt, too..

"Yes, well, he was only one of my best friends," she nearly muttered, her cheeks faintly burning, "And it hurt when he left.. a lot. There's something about that which you, especially just doesn't understand.."

"Don't I?" Kaiba asked.

"What- Kaiba, are you-do you-?" She flopped back against the seat, her mind racing, trying to make sense of this. Was he just toying with her?

She turned to face him, question him further, although somewhere she felt like she knew, like a shape under a blanket which you only needed to pull off to confirm the shape's identity.

When she saw him, the blanket went flying off.

He turned from the window, too, and looked straight at her. She realized that she had never seen him this directly, this close up, and she felt something near dizzy at the sight of his intense gaze.

That blue fire that she had only ever seen when he was dueling. How unlikely it would have seemed to think that it would ever show itself to her, her alone.

Though she had imagined it before.

Spellbound by him, slow-motion style, she was startled back to the present moment when she felt thin, cool fingers on her cheek.

"I understand more than you think.." he murmured, "..Anzu."

When he spoke her name, her mouth just about fell open. If she had been able to say anything, it would have been silenced when he took her face in both of his large hands, and gently pressed his mouth to hers.

The Earth swirled on its axis.

She gasped when she felt him, when she felt that it was possible for someone who most of the time seemed to be carved from ice to have a part on them that was so full of feeling- luscious, pliable, softness.

Her own lips were slightly chapped and dry, and she felt them being soaked by the moisture of his mouth as it moved and parted and pressed. When his hot tongue slipped out, she felt limp

Her sore body found itself laying on the cloud-like seat, her ears filled with his heavy breathing. Never had she been the object of such passion before.

"Seto.." she started to say when he pulled away for a moment, gazing down at her with dark eyes, his fingers sweeping away hair from her face.

Gone were her words when he leaned back down and put his mouth just beneath her ear.

As he kissed down the side of her neck, the skin burned white hot. His tongue swept across, heavenly soft. Anzu found her hands around his head, pulling him closer, his wet lips pressing more firmly, and her nerves burned all the way down to her feet.

She groaned inwardly when she realized he was moving away because the limo had stopped.

The rest of the day passed in ordinary, dull blur. But when Anzu fell asleep that night, for the first time in a while, Atem was nowhere to be found in her dreams.

And it only continued as he appeared less and less. In her dreams, however, she began to see more and more of a fellow brunette, blue-eyed gentleman- who was more difficult to deal with, but was also, bit-by-bit, softening.

Just as in her real life.

_**~ Fin ~**_

_**ooOoo**_

PS: I just wanted to point out that the title of the story refers to both the unspoken feelings that Seto has for Anzu, Anzu's for him, and her feelings for Atem- which, as we all know, were (_unfortunately!_) never revealed to him. Ciao, and honest thanks to all who read and review!_**  
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